Riccardo's useless Marathon blog

Pains and gains of my training.


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Dear fans,

Today I would like to spend some time telling you a bit more about what people around me think about this whole marathon-thing.

 

 

Done.

Now let’s move on.

Nah just kidding…we’re not moving on yet!

As you might have noticed, one of the latest and most popular trend on facebook –and web in general– is to share those graphically awful pictures about what you do and what society thinks you do and what your mother thinks you do and what your mates think you do and then what you think you do and all that shit.

Now since this blog is as popular and trendy –and graphically awful– as those pictures, actually even more –it’s already known by at least two people other than me as the “Holy Graphically Awful Bible of the marathon runners”-, and because I’ve received so many e-mails and letters from supporters from all around the world asking me one of those, my team and I decided to work on it and make a picture up too.

The shit load of letters from my fans I've received in the last month.

First of all we had to find an appropriate title.

After thinking about it for a while we came up with two ideas that immediately split our team. On one side there was me with “Marathon runner”. On the other side there was the rest of the team with “Running twat”. We eventually found a compromise: I fired them all.

I then phoned my mum and asked her what her idea about her son running a marathon was. After hers it was my mates’ turn, then my neighbour’s, my doctor’s, my colleagues’, my therapist’s, my dealer’s, my dog’s, my personal trainer’s, my invisible friend’s, my own reflection in the mirror’s, my uncle’s, my aunt’s, my first grade teachers’, my cousin’s sister in law’s, my lawyer’s, my accountant’s and that guy’s who was sitting next to me on the bus earlier on and a few more I can’t remember. Most of them though told me they didn’t have a son so I had to phone them back specifying that I was talking about me and that’s why it took me so long.

Anyway once I processed the data I opened photoshop and did this.

After showing it to my closest friends looking for their opinion I had to hire a professional graphic designer –I am a graphic designer too but apparently my photoshop skills aren’t good enough– who finally managed to do it for me. That was quite an easy job, hiring the guy I mean, considering that on sunday I flew back to Milan for a few days and –just in case you still don’t know it– here everybody’s a fecking designer

The graphic designer with better photoshop skills than me that I had to hire.

So, by popular demand, here you are the small and low-resolution version of his piece of art. If you want the big and high-resolution one ask my graphic designer because I ain’t got it. Or just click on it.

Marathon Runner, What I really do

Not much left to say for today apart from the fact that at the moment I am still not training –of course…– because of a small injury called shin splintsyep, the one I was talking about in the last post– that I am trying to cure. I will talk to you later anyway so stay tuned because the best video ever is coming soon…just a few days wait. How many? How many?? HOW MANY???


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Useless post #1

Dear fans,

I am sorry it took me a while to bring you up to date about my training but as you (should) know I am not training yet.

An untalented, but cheap, actor playing an ugly ,but accurate, version of me not training.

Yes, that’s why I didn’t update this blog. Until now, of course. Now I am updating it. Right now. Yes.

You happy now?

Some happy supporters of mine, in Singapore, celebrating in real time this long-awaited post.

That’s a yes, right?

A more comprehensible answer from a less cryptic and less Singaporean supporter of mine.

Anyway, I thought that would have been pretty easy to understand but then a few hours ago I received a phone call from my fan club. My demanding fan club.

My fan club.

They were worried, really worried, and wanted to make sure I remembered that next monday I will have to start my training. I reassured them about it, downed my rum&coke and then changed my number straight away.

This is it, not much left to say for today but stay tuned: the charity I am willing to run the marathon for (still waiting for their reply) and a preview of the outfit I may wear on the day (still considering the options) will be soon revealed.

Smell you later my peeps.