So today it was May Day – the International Workers’ Day – but it was also Mayday – Houston we have a problem – depending on whether you’ve been lucky enough to have it off – and paid – or you’ve been me.
If you belong to the first category you can stop reading now and go back to whatever you were doing before popping in here because I don’t want to talk to you. Ever again. And this picture is for you.
If you had it off but you haven’t seen a single penny, or cent, or toea – for my Papua New Guinean friend – for staying at home all day seated on your arse while munching on junk food and watching Made in Chelsea on tv, or if you are a minimum wage cunt like me and you’ve been working hard – … – all day, then you are welcome to stay and keep reading at least until the next episode of TOWIE begins.
I am of course joking.
I know what we’re all really waiting for is the next episode of Geordie Shore to begin.
Now verified that none of us enjoyed the International Workers’ Day – even though people like me ARE International Workers – let’s focus on the (Houston-we-have-a) problem.
Today it was May Day aka May 1st aka 26-days-to-the-marathon-day.
But we really do have a problem here.
Twenty-six days to the marathon. Nae jokes. And I don’t feel that much of a celebrity anymore. Not at all. I haven’t been training ever since that day when both my knees stopped working and probably haven’t really ever considered the real dangers of this whole marathon thing. I am not gonna lie, what happened during the London Marathon did freak me out a little. It is true that the odds are pretty high that something like that will happen again and that it will happen to me but I still think that maybe I might have underestimated this 26,2 mile run called Marathon.
That’s why the next days are going to be extremely important and that’s why I am gonna start training properly once again from now until May 27th and I am gonna start eating healthier food and I am gonna cut off the drinks.
OK maybe the bit about the drinks was bullshit but I am really concerned for myself and I really want to make use of this 26 days I’ve got left so I promise you I’ll put my shoes on and I’ll go and run every day – I’ll try at least – starting tomorrow and I promise you that the one I had tonight was the last Two-for-Tuesday until June.
Will go for a 5/7 mile run tomorrow after work and will let yous know how it goes. Hopefully I won’t be too tired after a full shift at work and hopefully my knees will be all right and hopefully it will be sunny in Edinburgh and hopefully a bunch of hot girls will be training too and will ask me to join them and hopefully I will find a £50 note on the street on my way home and – yeah OK – hopefully I will just be bothered enough to put those damn shoes on and go. Will keep you posted.
Now if you want ot excuse me, it is not tomorrow yet so I am gonna go and down a few pints and eat a couple of kebabs before I go to sleep and start dreaming about naked women.