Riccardo's useless Marathon blog

Pains and gains of my training.

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So today it was May Day – the International Workers’ Day – but it was also Mayday – Houston we have a problem – depending on whether you’ve been lucky enough to have it off – and paid – or you’ve been me.

If you belong to the first category you can stop reading now and go back to whatever you were doing before popping in here because I don’t want to talk to you. Ever again. And this picture is for you.

I really do.

If you had it off but you haven’t seen a single penny, or cent, or toeafor my Papua New Guinean friend – for staying at home all day seated on your arse while munching on junk food and watching Made in Chelsea on tv, or if you are a minimum wage cunt like me and you’ve been working hard – … – all day, then you are welcome to stay and keep reading at least until the next episode of TOWIE begins.

I am of course joking.

I know what we’re all really waiting for is the next episode of Geordie Shore to begin.

Your face - I hope - right now.

Now verified that none of us enjoyed the International Workers’ Day – even though people like me ARE International Workers – let’s focus on the (Houston-we-have-a) problem.

Today it was May Day aka May 1st aka 26-days-to-the-marathon-day.

So mean…

But we really do have a problem here.

Twenty-six days to the marathon. Nae jokes. And I don’t feel that much of a celebrity anymore. Not at all. I haven’t been training ever since that day when both my knees stopped working and probably haven’t really ever considered the real dangers of this whole marathon thing. I am not gonna lie, what happened during the London Marathon did freak me out a little. It is true that the odds are pretty high that something like that will happen again and that it will happen to me but I still think that maybe I might have underestimated this 26,2 mile run called Marathon.

That’s why the next days are going to be extremely important and that’s why I am gonna start training properly once again from now until May 27th and I am gonna start eating healthier food and I am gonna cut off the drinks.

Your face - probably- right now.

OK maybe the bit about the drinks was bullshit but I am really concerned for myself and I really want to make use of this 26 days I’ve got left so I promise you I’ll put my shoes on and I’ll go and run every day – I’ll try at least – starting tomorrow and I promise you that the one I had tonight was the last Two-for-Tuesday until June.

Will go for a 5/7 mile run tomorrow after work and will let yous know how it goes. Hopefully I won’t be too tired after a full shift at work and hopefully my knees will be all right and hopefully it will be sunny in Edinburgh and hopefully a bunch of hot girls will be training too and will ask me to join them and hopefully I will find a £50 note on the street on my way home and – yeah OK – hopefully I will just be bothered enough to put those damn shoes on and go. Will keep you posted.

Now if you want ot excuse me, it is not tomorrow yet so I am gonna go and down a few pints and eat a couple of kebabs before I go to sleep and start dreaming about naked women.

Love, Riccardo.


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Last night my mates and I were at the pub having a few pints and they all agreed saying that I should give up drinking if I really want to do this thing. Of course I disagreed and I still do.

A couple of hours later we were at another bar having some more pints and they all agreed saying that I should go on a diet and that following a random online training program is a stupid idea. Once again I disagreed and I still do.

Then at the club we were having several shots and numerous cocktails and they all agreed saying that I will fail. No matter what, I will fail. At that point I hesitated, then disagreed and I think I still do.

I’d like to think that they’re just trying to motivate me but I know those cunts pretty well and I know they’re wrong.

I’ll prove it!

A young supporter of mine mad at my mates.




I’m Riccardo, 25, originally from Milan but currently living in Edinburgh and in may I am going to run the Edinburgh Marathon 2012. I’m gonna try, at least.

I’d say this idea came to my mind when I was drunk -most of all the brilliant ideas I’ve had in all my life came after heavy nights out- not sure though. What’s important is that the decision has been made and I’ll stick to it as firmly as a chewing-gum would do on your hair. Sticazzi, we say in italian.

Here some things you should know: I am neither a professional athlete nor a habitual runner, to the contrary I am a professional time-waster and a habitual drunkard. At the moment I am everything but fit, yet running this marathon is my new year’s resolution and over the next twenty weeks -by this blog- I will keep you posted on both my achievements and failures. Mainly failures, more than likely.

I will follow a training programme I found online (…) which hopefully will work. But you guys have to know that I am not gonna give up drinking and I am not gonna go on a special diet.

Besides, I will let you know soon which charity I am running the marathon for.

Stay tuned and please feel free to encourage and/or insult me any time you feel like you want to.

Catch you later, Riccardo.